It Came From Memphis

"Your pedal extremities are colossal."
Louis Jordan, from 'Your Feet's Too Big'

Last night I dreamt that I was directing a scene. Nothing unusual there - when I am in the thick of work I have been known to dream all night long of setting up shots in some endless talky scene around a table, where every time you think that the last angle has been covered, some faceless third A.D. comes to you and whispers in your ear, "What about..." and you realise that it isn't yet wrap time... Anyway, last night I was insomniac and when I finally drifted off it was to find myself directing a Laurel and Hardy movie. I shot the scene, said a courteous goodnight and didn't even pause to wonder why my mother was driving Stan and Ollie to their train. Of course as soon as they'd left I realised that the one essential bit of story that would hold the whole thing together wasn't in the can, and tried to call my mother to get her to turn around - but couldn't remember her mobile number, just her landline number, which rang engaged. I understood that it was engaged because I was calling from home.